Lugard and Nigeria's Presbyopia!

Presbyopia (Greek word "presbys", meaning "old man" or "elder", with Latin root "-opia", meaning "eye") describes the condition where the eye exhibits a progressively diminished ability to focus on near objects with age. Similar to grey hair and wrinkles, presbyopia is a symptom caused by the natural course of aging; the direct translation of the condition's name is "elder eye".

We are an acutely presbyopic nation, unfortunately, our age is not commensurate with the symptoms we have begun to exhibit. As nations go, we are barely teenagers, the reality stares us in face; no light, power-drunk, unfeeling, stoic leaders, yet we remain silent.

I do not understand our resolve to remain silent in the face of madness! We have natural resources- wildlife, fossil fuels (crude oil falls int this category) and precious stone, yet we cannot manage them adequately to be of use to us; we prefer to import them from nations that probably bought them from us in the first place!

Lord Lugard has spoken from the grave, now we are rolling out the battle drums, sharpening the cutlasses; we want him exhumed and brought back to life so we can kill him again! What has he done to deserve this? He has spoken the truth, or is it not so? He has said (albeit centuries ago) that the Nigerian "has no power of organization,... loves the display of power,... lacks apprehension and ability to visualize the future (presbyopia)"

Of the above quoted text, where was he wrong? He described the Nigeria of today (so well even yesterday)! Our case of presbyopia is unique in the sense that the pathway to the future lies right in front of us, but we are refusing to see it! If only we can do the right things

Is it not obvious that if we get our acts right by reducing importation and increasing exportation while making provision for domestic consumption we will create jobs for the quite a chunk of the army of unemployed youths? Or do we need physicists to tell us that the Nigerian Police force needs a total overhaul; replace the semi illiterates in there with (well paid) graduates that will derive pleasure from (doing that which everyone presently thinks is impossible-) solving crimes? What about turning the army of corpers being churned out four times a year into researchers that will look into the Nigerian problem of their courses of study, and try to profer solutions that panels of seasoned professionals will whittle down in order to identify the practicable solutions? Wont that help Nigeria develop more professionals that will better her lot? Which of us wont be proud to be associated with such a Nigeria?

Presbyopia like most eye diseases is curable; in this case, its stupidly simple- do a 'Rawlings' on them and 'force' a Fashola to take the 'throne' for a compulsory two years with absolute power (checked only by the masses), after which the people will determine if that's whom they want leading them. Secondly, the death sentence should be used more liberally in crimes against the people (corruption readily comes to mind); thirdly remove ALL forms of immunity at all tiers of Government! While we are at it, we let the people decide which public officials should have escorts and otherwise!

Let's see if we wont make Lugard turn in his grave!!!

What Amnesty??

I refuse to believe that the president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria is dumb, I would rather accept (albeit foolishly) that he is just a victim of bad followership (and advice)!

Otherwise, how would you explain the recently concluded magarization program of the FG that saw quite a few never-do-wells become overnight millionaires while their communities lack the basic necessities of life? How do you begin to understand the jubilation of the FGN over World war 2 relics that were submitted as the firearms employed by the militants of the Niger Delta region of Nigeria (who are purportedly agitating for resource control and infrastructural development to pay for the oil that thas been taken from their land and its resultant side effects)? How could the Federal Government have given approximatel NGN3bn to less than 5000 people out of over 7 million people (ostentatiously to buy peace) in the region? What are the parameters and indices that were taken into cognizance before the 'amnesty' program was ratified? What will the Government pay if all Yoruba youths rise up to fight the 'injustice' of education for all Nigerian youths (after all, a Yoruba man [Chief Awolowo initiated the free education policy that has become the bluueprint used by all governors today])? What infrastructures has the FGN put in place to develop the region?

It is barely a month into the 'amnesty' package period, and the drum beats have begun to resound in the not too far horizon: from Henry Okah (a chief militant), to Tompolo (a Yar'Adua acolyte) to even members of the Niger Delta 'amnesty' committee, a musical ensemble is coming together, and one thing is certain: the glory of the latter shall surpass that of the latter!!!

As my good friend Dapo Oyebanji (known as Dbanj) says, let the FGN be ready to PAY THEM THEIR MONEY!!!! I am almost certain that the presidency is no more thinking about remunerating the boys in just plain old Naira, there is just so much they can purchase with it!

Onovo, Ribadu and fingerprints

The Inspector General of the Nigerian police force, Mr. Ogbonna Onovo knows the problems facing him in the institution he has been saddled with the task of leading, he has at various times stated it, but I think it is most concisely stated in the Punch Newspaper of September 30, 2009; “it is apparent that indiscipline, unprofessionalism (sic) and widespread corruption have been the bane of the Nigerian police over the years, a situation that has greatly affected service delivery” are the words he used. Still on words, in the same newspaper he lamented the tampering with of crime scenes by ‘sympathizers‘- employing the use of words like fingerprints, blood samples … if only he acts on the words he uses.

On indiscipline, what has the IG done concerning the bribe collectors on most Nigerian roads? How can he refute the recurring allegations that the bribe collectors are just foot soldiers, and that they make returns of up to 70% of collected bribes to the upper echelons of the force? What has he done to deal with the inherent rudeness found in all men of the force? Has anything been done to curb drunkenness while on duty?? How many plainclothes units are in the nation to checkmate the gross indiscipline found in more than 85% of the patrolmen on our highways?

The punch line (for me) is the when he talks about fingerprints and blood samples (let me help him with the fantasy by adding the negligence of passersby to take vehicle identification plate numbers, and notice their environment!!!): yes, it is a fact that no two fingerprints nor lip prints are the same (not even in identical twins), and this has been successfully used in apprehension of suspects in a lot of cases around the world, but its application in present day Nigeria is what amuses me- what database are you using as a reference point? What is the Nigerian version of the American VICAP? Do we by any chance have a database of the fingerprints of all convicted felons in Lagos state, before we go to the Federal level? Can the Nigerian prison services provide a database of prisoners paroled and otherwise that have gone through the institution in the last five years? How many companies have digital copies of the fingerprints of their employees that can be used as cross references when a new fingerprint shows up at a crime scene? What department in the force handles the need to do the aforementioned? The most elementary part of fingerprint identification is lifting the prints, how many detectives in the Nigerian Police force have the necessary skills required to carry out this mundane task? What parts of forensic science are being actively used by the Nigerian police force to solve crimes? What are the crimes that have been solved using the skills inherent in forensic analysis of crime scenes and victims in the last 10 years?

Obviously the case of Bayo Owu will remain unsolved, but I hope the IG will start concentrating on the little things that are chipping away at the edifice known as the Nigerian Police Force, and leave ardent novel readers and idealists (like yours sincerely) alone to deal with the myriads of ‘Nigerian’ problems they face on a daily basis the best way they know- through fiction!!!

I no fit shout!

It is barely a month to Passing Out Parade of my batch of the NYSC, and I cannot help but wonder if my decision not to EVER do 'Oga sah' for any one will workout! Yes, I have gotten a few nice orders for silicone wristbands and keyrings, but that one was 'omo boy' money (fuel car, live large, bone mumsy and co,u get), but I am now jumping into the crazy world without a safety jacket (which all my boys seem to see their present bank jobs (and co) as..).

I am leaving the secure cocoon of national youth service (take it or leave it; have you ever seen the faces of policemen when you flash that Wonderful id card?) to strike it out on my own, but whatever it is sha No SHAKING! It makes absolute sense (@ least to me) to make my first real cool dough from that same group sha. Can you think of a more homogenous (I get that English so?) mixture of youths in Nigeria (annual mobilization figure is estimated to be about 150million!!!)? For at least three weeks, they have the same basic needs, so why not tap into it.

U now see y I no fit shout?



***Make I no lie u, I no sabi wetin I go write ni!!